He Is Here

A recent self portrait painted for the Treasure Valley Artists Alliance (TVAA) installation at the Modern Event. Many of the members painted portraits that were all hung in a grid style on the side of a local building. It was impressive to see! I wish I had had my camera that night.

Anyway, this portrait is directly related to the dream I had back in 2005 about my dad. I forgot I had written the dream down and happen to come across it in an old notebook just a week before my dad's heart attack. I included it in the visual journal I kept while daddy was in the hospital. About a month ago I sat down with him and shared my journal with him. We both cried. Reading the dream to him was particularly difficult. But I feel so very blessed to have these extra moments, days, weeks and months with him. I know most who have experience what our family went through never had the gift we now treasure. More time.

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The Widow Maker

The Widow Maker, a set on Flickr.

"The Widow Maker"
there is no term in the medical lexicon more ominous than "widow maker." This condition, a full and complete blockage of the left anterior descending coronary artery, is fairly rare but exceptionally lethal, having the ability to kill a patient in an instant. The signs are the same as a standard heart attack, the distinction is in the severity and location of the blockage.

From the time symptoms present themselves, there is only a roughly 5 minute window of time to relieve the arterial blockage. If this blockage is not corrected within this window, death is nearly certain.

The only immediate treatment possible when a widow maker heart attack occurs is the insertion of a cardiac stent. This pushes the arterial blockage up against the arterial wall, thereby allowing blood flow to resume.

Dad had three stents inserted into his Left anterior descending coronary artery. The paramedics arrived within 3 mins of the 911 call mom placed, during the 5 min window mom preformed CPR on dad to keep him alive.

Daddy

 

 Day 1

 

Day 2

 

Day 3

 

Day 4

The past 5 days have changed my life dramatically... I am the ultimate "daddy's girl" having 4 brothers and no sisters. He has been my cheering squad, mentor, friend, shoulder to lean on and cry on, and I love him to the depths of my soul. 

I wrote this a few years back.

In a way this is a portrait of my father and I. He was a mechanic when I was growing up. When I was very young his work fascinated me and he couldn't keep me out of his shop (which was a huge building behind our house that could fit three semitrucks in it at the same time.) He allowed me to use most all his tools, even at a very young age. I loved making things with him and watching him work.

When I was a teen, I became quite embarrassed by the profession of my father. All my friends parents were "important people" like doctors or lawyers and such... we always had peoples broken down trucks and engine parts laying around our driveways. Our house was still in the process of being remodeled the whole time I was a teen (dad was working on this in his spare time most weekends and some evenings). So in my young arrogant mind, our house didn't measure up to my friends homes.

 

When I became a young adult I realized how hard my father works. The multitude of talents he possesses. The pure joy and love he has in creating and making objects and machinery work. This is not a trait all men have as I once believed. I now love to see him in his coveralls, cap, steel toed leather boots, and with his stained fingernails (from all the hours of working). He is very patient and enjoys teaching my husband how to do new things. (Like plumbing, wiring, framing and sheet rocking... )
My dad is a gem.

A few weeks ago I printed my first collagraph print on the press daddy built for me. I was so thrilled at how beautiful the press worked and couldn't wait to show dad the preliminary proof. I scanned in the print and emailed it to him. He liked it, but said "It's a little sad though." At the time I felt a twinge of guilt, as I had promised daddy that my first print would be for him (something to do with antique cars). But I have a print exchange coming up and I really wanted to do this image for the exchange. It will have a quote about tears being a strength not a weakness.

However, driving home Sunday night I realized unbeknown to me I had made my first print for him.